I'm gonna debauch the hell out of this blog post

Last night:


I went to a barbecue at the house of a coworker of my roommates, where there was brick, and a fire escape, and pretty lights. We decided it didn't look like New York, but a movie about New York instead. It was delicious and fun and I smell like mesquite still, which is funny now but was probably really obnoxious at all the bars last night.

Oh, except I'm kind of sad because I just put clean sheets on my bed and now they smell like barbecue smoke. I can't be too upset at myself, though, because even if the thought to shower had crossed my mind when I got home last night, I wouldn't have been able to accomplish becoming clean, as I was far too focused on the cricket that I was absolutely convinced was under my bed. The cricket! It was there, I swear to David DeJesus.


I have had excellent times in Augusts in the past few years. This marks the second year in a row that Maeg has called me from a wedding the night before she moves back to DC and conveys all the ridiculousness that has happened so far at the nuptial party for one of her one hundred fifty three thousand three hundred and forty cousins. This year there was fountain swimming, none by Maeg unfortunately.

oh, wait, sorry, that's not how many cousins Maeg has, that's how much water we got billed for by DC WASA as a result of this little baby:



That's right, the spring, the source of life, the reason for our $1505.66 water bill and 153,340 gallons of water sitting in our front yard. For some perspective, China reported its giant oil spill as being 400,000 gallons. (Also, holy smack what is with all the oil spills. Sorry, Earth, I think we're beginning to get the picture...) (and, couldn't we have had one more dollar's worth of water in that 33 day billing cycle, so that our bill, which we received on Friday, August 13, was $1506.66?!? That would have been too much)

Yesterday one roommate and I were standing on the platform of the NY Ave metro station, watching some dudes bike past us on the MBT , and one guy yelled something to the effect of "Hey stop being such lazy asses! Get a bike!" which I thought was situationally hilarious and also infuriating. Someone came up with the idea that back before that idiot started to ride, someone yelled that at him once, and so now he thinks he's the shit and wanted to pay it forward to try and make himself look cool. How many combined hours in the past six weeks have I spent on my bike or at the bike shop or drinking with the guys who work at the bike shop? Hey entitled douchebag, I'm taking the fucking metro so that I won't bike drunk, because biking drunk is FUCKING STUPID.
And, let's talk about how biking is a policy of choice and not everyone can afford a $1500 Bianchi and the time to leisurely ride the MBT, because some of us have $1500 water bills to pay, and cooler plans than you for Saturday night.