Dried Cherries and Bad Pop Music

IT'S CHRISTMAS EVE so I am cleaning, obviously.

My employment situation, with multiple families adding up to somewhere around 2/3 full-time instead of just one family of full or part time, can be very confusing to explain and very confusing to schedule and very busy and stuff, but around the holidays it really pays off... The more families I have, the more cash presents I get! woo!

I opened the adorable card from Dave Jr's family, and there was a ten dollar bill inside, which is very sweet, and then now I am cleaning, and was about to throw away the envelope and then there were two twenties inside the envelope. So, everyone, check your envelopes!

Last night Roommate and I were at the bar, and we wanted White Russians, but Bar TendOwner had NO KAHLUA. I asked if he would make me White Russians if I brought him a bottle of Kahlua and he said yes, but really at that point I should just make them for myself. Also Roommate and I watched Zoolander, and it had been too long since I had seen that classy classy film.

I just realized that the only reason I got out my computer was to use Google Voice to call my phone, because I made my bed and now I can't find my phone, and here I am a blog post later and listening to Usher on the internet radio, still having no idea where the phone is. And then I just realized I promised Roommate I'd clean the vacuum before he got home, and I still haven't done that. WELL DONE.

I Am A Protein, All Living Organisms Need Me To Function

A new thing I learned the other day! Apparently when you get a gmail address, you own all the permutations involving periods, so when you own firstlast@gmail.com you also own first.last@gmail.com and also f.irst.l.ast@gmail.com and f.i.r.s.t.l.a.s.t@gmail.com blah blah etc.

I think it is time for a general update about the kidlets.

Baby Biebzbear is almost 14 months. Walking, running, finally eating food that isn't just baby food, finally. He is quite literally inhaling bread, he makes this scary choking noise because he eats it too fast. I stand there and stare at him while he eats his bread and his goldfish. He is transitioning to one nap, finally. He is generally less of a jerk, finally, but now it is too cold to go outside so we have 16 hours a week together in one tiny apartment, which is driving me nuts. He is pretty cute though.

Stellina LOVES school. She makes lots of art and then when I come over she goes "I MADE THIS I MADE THIS" and she is so proud. She got her first haircut recently, and it is super cute. She is the best.

The Three Horsechildren of the Apocalypse are as skinny and as apocalyptic as ever. Zannah, Prince Philip, and Captain Bananio, are all totally crazy insane. Though Zannah is becoming gradually more rational, Captain Bananio is losing all sense of sanity at a rate so exponential that it totally cancels out Zannah's eight year old maturity. Prince Philip is turning into the sweetheart I always knew he was, but he acts it more consistently now that he is in school. He doesn't remember how much he loved dressing up in Zannah's princess dresses, which makes me sad. He does know how to work Instant Netflix on the Wii. I do not know how to do this. I have to have a five year old help me with the technology.

Dave Jr. is getting over a cold, and I am crashing into a cold, so I did not see him this week. He turns two on Christmas Day. He loves Elmo. He loves watching Elmo on YouTube. It's pretty cute, actually. He's talking more and more and somehow not really making any more sense.

So, I've gotten to the point with my various kids that I think I can really see the benefit of sign language. When I first started with Stellina, she was 14 months, which is Biebzbear's age now. Dave Jr. is six months younger than Stellina, Captain Bananio is the exact same age, and Bee is a few months older. There are lots of factors at play, obviously, but when looking at communication, it's pretty clear that Stellina has always been at least one step ahead of all my other kids. It's unbelievable how far ahead of Captain Bananio she is, and when she was 14 months she was lightyears ahead of where Biebzbear is now. Even compared to Bee, who is older, Stellina is much easier to understand (perhaps because there is always a pacifier in Bee's mouth).

Anyway, I could write a lot about that. It's not just because I love Stellina the best. ...but I do.

The end of New Things November.

Well, since I kind of sucked at finishing the month of New Things, here are some more new things happened recently.

I went to a Harris Teeter! I had never been to a Harris Teeter before. It is fancy. I haven't been to the brand new HT by my house, which I imagine is fancy x3. They have delicious bread there.

I decided to buy a new dress, that is great, it is a great dress, and possibly these shoes too, and I can do this because,

It looks like I am picking up a third full day of babbysits, with a babby I had about a year and a half ago for a couple of months. But now he is 20 months old, and has an 8 week old sister. So... that will be a LOT of work, but will be at least 500 extra a month, hopefully a little more, because two kids under two is going to be totally nuts.

Anyway because of that and because of the extra moneys I am making this month singing in church etc., I will be able to afford new dress, and some other stuff, and also be able to pay off my entire credit card in a month instead of the year I had budgeted, and then I will also be able to pay my loan faster! HAPPY WINTER, ME.

I'm watching this week's SNL, Paul McCartney is the musical guest. His guitarist looks like a weird blond Steven Tyler.

I think I'm too afraid to see this movie.

RIP Orange and Blue. Thanks for the tasty noms.

A few new things about Stellina:
New Baby Brudder Space Monkey is at 27 weeks now, which means he weighs two pounds, I guess? He is due in about 12 weeks, which of course is when their dad has just been assigned a two week trial. Stellina is moving into her new big girl bed when they get back from Mekik (Mexico), and her new big girl bed has these sheets, which Stellina picked out herself, and are insanely cute. Baby girl has a sense of humor these days; when she was taking a bath the other day she kept calling the mirror the bathtub, and the bathtub a mirror, and thought she was insanely hilarious for it, which she was. She also really hates toothpaste.

I'm thinking of a 2011 blog project, because I like having projects. It would be a weekly thing, so there would be 52 of them, but I don't know what. My cousin writes about albums every week on his BookFace. I like the Dark Days project of cooking. I like the doing new things, and I like the learning new things. Suggestions?

New Things November-ish: Saturday the 34th of November

Some awesome New Things today! I went to IHOP.

AND IT WAS AWESOME.

LET ME TELL YOU.

It was extreem awesome. But there was a 45 minute wait, so first we had bloody marys and that was even more awesome!

(I have been to IHOP before, just not the brand new one in DC, so ... this is kind of a New Thing.)

Then I watched the most of a football game that I have ever watched! I watched a whole three quarters, before I had to leave for working times. It was great fun, except for the leaving. ALSO THE DUCKS WON... AGAIN. Woooo

Lastly, I let Stellina stay up WAY past her bedtime and watch an entire Sesame Street with me, because I was lonely, and I love her. We ate Honey Nut Cheerios together. We discussed her new big girl bed, which she is getting tomorrow, so that her old crib can be used for New Baby Space Monkey when he comes in March. We discussed her artwork on her brand new easel that she got for Hannukah, and we discussed how they learned about yelling in school yesterday (?!?!?), and we discussed how she had chicken for dinner, and we discussed how her haircut looks really fantastic. I've never been the cool babysitter and let kids stay up past bedtime, mostly because there is no point in letting kids under 2 stay up late, it only causes destruction and badness. Hopefully she will sleep late in the morning and give her mom and dad a break. Shhh.

Sunday is the last day of this past week, which I have lived through somehow. I don't know what happens tomorrow. Monday I have Baby Biebz from 9 to 5 and then the three horsechildren of the apocalypse (Zannah, Prince Philip, and Captain Bananio) from 6 until late???, and then the same thing again on Tuesday. So yes, I'll make bank between those two days. but I do not plan on being happy about it.

New Things November-ish: Friday the 33rd of November

Um, I ate some jalepeño chips today? I had never really done that before, and they were delicious.

A new thing I learned was how to make this: ñ!!!!!

New Things November-ish: Thursday the 32nd of November

I am in my fifth year in DC now (woah) and have never spent a significant amount of time at Gallery Place in Chinatown. I have been to the movie theater once and I have been to the bar once but I had never been to the fancy schmancy bowling alley there.

I have my thoughts about bowling, mostly that I hate doing it. I like hanging out at the bowling alley and drinking and eating and watching other people bowl, and I like saying "Fuck it, Dude, let's go bowling" all the time. I like giving other people high fives when they get strikes and spares and I like making fun of Capital R when he mixes his sports metaphors and says "I really need to strike out on this next frame." I think I don't like bowling for the same reason I don't like goldfish crackers; bowling and goldfish were both forced upon me too much as a child. I also really don't like when the idiot guys are like "oh yeah, that was a good one but next time you have to keep your angle straight and you have to pull the ball back just like this and you have to put spin blah blah I'm a douchebag who just likes women to think I know what I'm talking about." Also I am bad at bowling, and have no desire to improve.

I had a fun time, even though I had eaten too many pad thai (WAY TOO MANY) and my tummy hurt a lot. But it was because I got to watch instead of having to actually bowl, except for one frame, when one of the people we were with went away to get more drinks, but then a douchebag told me what I did wrong, and so I sat back down and resolved to never bowl again unless I change my mind, because I hate it, and I don't have to do something that I don't want to do.

Also even though it was fun, it was a bowling alley with a dress code, which I think is really stupid.

This has been my rant against bowling. ICE SKATING, LET'S DO THAT, BECAUSE I LIKE IT.

New Things November-ish: Wednesday the 1st (the 31st of November)

A lot of the new things involve new eating places, which is good, because there are so many eating places. Today Capital R and his friend (the one who says things that make me roll my eyes a LOT) and I went to a different pho place than the one that is in DC that we have been to before. It was tasty, and I lol'ed a lot at the two boys, and I also schooled them at eating all the pho.

And now I am superhero.

ALSO a new place! A new bike shop, which has the DUMBEST website for being a really awesome store. Both Capital R and his stupid/hilarious friend used to work there, so I got to meet all the people. S/H Friend introduced me as Capital R's "girl," which I don't know if that is correct or not, but that is a new thing. I have never been introduced as someone's "girl" before. I think I am no one's girl, except for maybe my momma's. In any case, all the people were really nice, and there were some INSANE bikes, really ridiculous stuff, and there is a guy working there who is apparently the God of Bikes, and he was kind of awkward, as I expect that the God of Bikes would be.

New Things November: Tuesday the 30th

Biebzbear and I found a new park today! We walked and walked in the stroller until we came to the park on the west side of Barracks Row, and we found the park, and we went to the park, and there were lots of grassy knolls that Bear ran up and then fell and then got cranky when I wouldn't let him run down the hill because he would have died. Also there was a nice male caregiver there wearing a Utilikilt, and I wanted to be friends with him, but I did not do that.

Also Bear and I walked around the entire Eastern Market/Barracks Row/Navy Yard area, and holy crap! there's some cool stuff! Awesome houses and buildings and really cool art in some alleys and stuff.

New Things November: Monday the 29th

I locked myself out of new house today! I had not locked myself out of this house Ever Before. It is important not to lock oneself out of the house when one does not have a front desk staff with spare keys, and also one has a landlord who is very difficult to contact, and one does not always know when one's roommates are going to be home.

It ended well for me, because Incredibly Adequate Roommate was home before I even left work! He is AWESOME.

Hopefully I will not lock myself out of new house again.

New Things November: Sunday the 28th

I took a new bicycle route to work today! I usually go south on either 8th or 11th, but today I went on 9th! It was very nice. I might do that again.

Also I had some New Kids today, one time kids. I had Bee, who has not yet made an appearance on the blog until now because even though I've been watching her since the beginning of the summer, she is not super regular, and she is more stress than sweet, so there aren't many cute stories to tell. But, today, I had her and the kids of her parents' friends, so that all the parents could go to dinner together. Bee is two and a half, and the boys are 4 and 6, so it was ... kind of stressful? The surround sound on the DVD player wasn't working, so when the characters on Finding Nemo were on the sides of the screen we could hear them just fine, but when they were in the center of the screen, their little aquatic mouths were moving and no sound was produced. None of the little ones seemed to care, but now I want to watch it again, so I can get all the funny parts that I missed.

Bee was mostly cuddly on the couch with me, which was super adorable, while the boys threw around a yoga ball and mostly ignored me when I yelled at them, until I took away the yoga ball and the 4 year old had a minor breakdown. My bike was only knocked over twice, so I consider the evening a complete success.

After we had found Nemo, we switched to The Wizard of Oz on one of the movie channels, and the sound was fine! Weird.

New Things November: Saturday the 27th

There are about a million bars on my street, and I have not been to quite a few of them. So last night we went to a Place Where I Had Never Been! I did not have their coffee I only had their whiskey and their live music and their dancing to their reggae(??!). There were a lot of white people there who couldn't dance so we spent a lot of time on the couch watching the white people.

Then we went to pie, and I ate pie, and it was all gone within a few steps of the pie store because I was the God of Pie, and I was unstoppable.

New-ish Things November: Friday the 26th

Today I did nothing new. I was in bed all day and I watched the new episodes of The Walking Dead, Modern Family, and Glee, in that order. Watching new episodes doesn't count, a whole new TV show might count but not new episodes. I took two showers, also not a new thing.

But this is my 200th blog post, which is a milestone, which is kind of like a new thing. In celebration I made this video which is very cute.




I am not sure what will be the new thing for tomorrow. It is my half birthday on Saturday the 27th, so maybe I will try a new bar, or maybe just a new drink at my regular bar, while wearing a pretty dress. We will see. Maybe not a dress, because it gets cold at night. Is it winter now??

New Things November: Thursday the 25th

Today I cooked a Thanksgiving dinner, which I had never done before. Well, the only thing that I can take ALL the credit for is the stuffing and the turkey, but I was also "executive" on the gravy too (not really, though). We also got to eat salad and baked brie, garlic mashed potatoes, pumpkin soup, bread, and roasted squashes, and then for dessert which none of us could fit in our tummies there was pumpkin pie, coffee cake, and Oreo pie (better known as "dirt"). And we had spiced/spiked cider too, and wine, and MGD, woo!

I had never cooked those things before, the foods that I cooked yesterday! it was all SO RIDICULOUSLY TASTY. then we watched MST3K and I wanted to die of food overdose, and also laughing too hard overdose. It was really excellent times.

oh also Brady figured out how to turn up our hot water heater, which was only set on warm, and now holy crap! the water! it's so amazing! I can take a shower longer than 4.5 minutes and have the water still be warm! I need to turn on the cold faucet as well! I feel like a normal person again! ...nah. no normalcy.

New Things November: Wednesday the 24th

TODAY I GOT A NEW BIKE

Well, not really, I guess I don't get to keep it until Christmas. It looks like this:


it is my new single speed Peugeot mixte and it is blue and white and it is AWESOME.

Really my new thing is that I got to ride my new bike for the first time, well, I did ride it a bit in the alley the other day when it was finished, but I don't think that really counts, and I got to take it on a trip to the grocery store today, and it is great. and it is a New Thing!

New Things November: Tuesday the 23rd

Today I gave a shot to a cat! That was something I had never done before. I am catsitting for a diabetic cat for one of my families, and they are very rich, so they can afford to have a diabetic cat. They are also very nice and they have a beautiful house, so I am glad to be able to hang out with their diabetic cat in their large and beautiful house.

So I have to give him insulin once a day! which is actually a lot more fun than I thought! I had never given an injection to anyone of anything before! NEW THING WOO

New Things November: Monday the 22nd

Today is a really crappy New Thing. I was running out the door to dinner when I noticed that my cats were outside, which was confusing because they did not get out the door. Then I noticed that one of the cats was halfway out the WIDE OPEN WINDOW, and the screen was pushed all the way up, and then I got the cats inside, and realized that one of my roommates often leaves his computer on the table in front of the window, and that it was gone.

So, wooooo, our house got robbed. That is a stupid stupid Thing That Has Never Happened To Me Before Today. Luckily, roommate whose computer is gone came home right as I was closing the window, which allowed him to log into all his accounts on my computer and change all his passwords. His computer was not worth much more than personal information, which I realize is priceless, but the hardware itself is several years old and not worth much money. He also, I assume, filed a police report.

In our neighborhood, it was only a matter of time until our house had stuff stolen from it, especially because my roommates leave windows unlocked and open and shades up and things like computers in plain sight. I'm really thankful that it was this fashion, even though that roommate had to pay a really unlucky price. It was not our back door being busted down, and all our bikes being stolen, along with our stereo, TV, all four computers, jewelry, other electronics, and all three cats going AWOL possibly for good, etc. etc.

But now, of course, our house is a target, because the stealers could look around our living room, and could at least see my bike and some other things. I feel bad that it happened while I was home. I had the radio on. I don't know that I necessarily could have done anything anyway, I guess. Except lock the window. I suppose it is time to call the landlord and have him fix the back gate. And it is time to talk about leaving the windows locked and closing the motherfreaking blinds.


The New Thing that I did today on PURPOSE was that Biebzbear and I went to DC-3, which was delicious, if not kind of stressful, because taking babies anywhere is stressful, let alone babies who are as fussy as Bear. He's so fussy!

New Things November: Sunday the 21st

Today I did a New Thing That GrownUps Do, I guess? I applied for yet another credit card, this time just to transfer my balance from my credit card that has a 16.9%APR (BTW, WTF! LOL, KTHXBAI) to the new card which is 0% on balance transfers for 12 months, so, hopefully that will be a thing that will save me moneys, like 250 bucks or more I think. But then I will have three credit cards which is Less Than Ideal IMO. I wish that air travel and vet bills were not so expensive.

Um so yeah, that is about as much as I will talk about my finances on the internet!

Oh except the other day I did a New Thing after I had already blogged for the day. I got my credit score! Which I had Never Done Before. It was really not so bad, actually! Yayyy.

New Things November: Catsup

Thursday, November 18
I don't remember what I did on Thursday. I met some new people! That was fun. I spent the entire 24 hours with Capital R, which may have been a first, but probably not, and then we went to dinner with his sister and her daughter, which was fun. New People are New. We went to Ted's Bulletin which is not a new place but I did have a new food. I'm stretching for Thursday, because really not that much happened except for that.

Friday, November 19
I went to two new places! First I went to the Dangerously Delicious Pies store, and though I have previously eaten their pies I had never been inside the store. They really are super super delicious. Then I went to Kabob Palace in Crystal City, which was delicious but I didn't have very much, because let's be honest, I was already full of fried chicken (mmm, Crown) and pie, and also a couple of beers.

And a new thing I just learned is that Crown Fried Chicken has a website, and also it's halal? I am not so sure I believe that.

Saturday, November 20
I went to my first small-child birthday party! I was picking up Stellina at her friend's 3rd birthday so that her parents could go get ready for the fancy schmancy party they were attending. It was kind of scary but really cute. Stellina may have been slightly scarred when the head of the four-foot-tall Mickey Mouse balloon came off and floated up to the ceiling of the hall.

On the way home we talked to the moon and Stellina sang the ABCs, in which I was not allowed to participate because Stellina said so. And then at dinner she wanted more and more broccoli and then more and more cantaloupe, which I felt bad denying her, but even she agreed it was going to make her tummy hurt. And then she took a bath and freaked out at getting her hair washed. I had to tell her that she couldn't have any stories before bed, which she didn't believe for a while, until a few minutes later she said "No stories?" and I said "no stories unless you put water on her head" so then she took the washcloth and put water on her head three times and then said "three stories!" If there was a tiny bit of soap left in her hair, she will probably not die from it.

When the water was draining, the following cute time happened:
Me: Ready to get out, Baby Girl?
Stellina: babygirl.
Me: Who is Baby Girl?
Stellina: meeee.
Me: That's right!!
Stellina: biggirl.
Me: That is also right.

Then she shiverrrrred and shiverrrrred during pajama-dressing-time and while her teeth were chattering she was saying "No brush teeth, no brush teeth" and because I am the cool babysitter, I didn't make her brush her teeth. In reality I am the bad babysitter because I forgot to have her brush her teeth. I was focused on her not dying of hypothermia. Her tiny hands and feet were purple!! I gave her many hugs for warmth.

And that is what happened on those days.

can has

behind, I know. lots to blog! a couple of really busy days. hard days. catch up sunday! so tired.

New Things November: Wednesday the 17th

Today's new thing is Super Tasty New Thing. Somehow I have made it 22 years without eating banh mi sammich. NO LONGER! Super delicious. Also I got to have pho which made me into a superhero. Everyone should go eat one or twelve right now.

Also I got to drive a new way on Rock Creek Park today that I had never been. It was dark, so I didn't see anything to tell you.

Dave Jr. and I had some cute times today. After dinner we took a bunch of pictures with PhotoBooth, which was fun, and then we YouTubed Elmo videos. We watched Elmo Has Four Ducks, and 12 Ladybugs, and C is for Cookie, and I Love Trash, and then Elmo and India.Arie singing the ABCs. Somewhere in the middle of the ABCs, maybe somewhere around LMNOP, Dave Jr.'s eyes slammed shut and his head fell back on me, so we quickly said "adios" to the dogs and traipsed upstairs to brush teefs and wash face as best as possible. No bath tonight! Lucky bug.

New Things November: Tuesday the 16th

Well, it rained today (fall?! I notice you now!) so I did not take Biebzbear to Stanton Park, and though we did walk around it, I don't think that counts. We also did not go to DC-3. Karaoke is still upcoming, but I will write a different new thing!

I was late to work and a guy stopped me on the street and asked if he could ask a question, and I think it is bad karma to not let people ask directions or whatever even if you are running late (the exception is the Children International people who stand on the street, obviously). He did not ask for directions, he asked if I would marry him. I told him I was late for work and that I hoped he will find someone.

I know there are People Who Are Pretty who I'm sure receive at least 3 marriage proposals before work on a daily basis, but this has Never Happened To Me Before.

Also on the way home, I got hit on by a 9-year-old on a bike. WHEN IT RAINS, IT POURS.

New Things November: Monday the 15th

Mondays are difficult days for new things. I get up late, hurry hurry to work, hopefully get there more or less on time, hang out with Baby Biebz for 8 hours or so, entertain myself all day long with thoughts of how I'm going to go right to bed as soon as I get home, bike or walk home, change into sweats, lounge around for the rest of the day. It is a good thing I do not have a regular 9-5 job because I would be very unhappy and extremely unproductive in my personal life.

Ha! Personal life.

It has been determined that I am going to have to start doing new things in order to write about them, which was the whole point anyway. Today I didn't really do anything new, I learned Something That I Did Not Know though, which is that I cannot get up at 8:23am and get to work on time from Virginia, because there is a thing called traffic on the Beltway. What?! Something That I Already Knew is that I can get up at 8:23am and get to work on time from my house. I can even get up at 8:33am and be on time!

Tomorrow Baby Biebz and I will find something new to do. If it is not rainy and wet, we will go to Stanton Park, to which I have never been, but I hate because it messes me up geographically something awful. If it is wet but not rainy, then we will go to the new hot dog place on Barracks Row. If it is wet and rainy, then I guess I will have to blog about going to karaoke at Sticky Rice which is apparently happening, or maybe the crazy iTunes announcement that is apparently happening, or maybe I will dye my hair pink just to have something to blog. That is probably not happening.

ETA: I realized, a thing that is cool about today, but probably isn't a Brand New Thing, is that I had a buy-nothing day! I didn't spend a single money. I did just download a new album on iTunes but it was after midnight so technically, I did that tomorrow.

IT CAN NEVER BE TOMORROW.

New Things November: Sunday the 14th

Sunday! I have been obsessed with Eastern Market (place, event, and neighborhood) (I include Barracks Row in the "Eastern Market" category) for a while, and yet an important Place I Had Never Been was Peregrine Espresso, which I have heard is the best coffee in the area, if not the city. So, I went. I did not have coffee, but I did have iced tea which was delicious, and my friend had drip coffee which he said was not all that impressive. We decided that the ambiance left much to be desired. It was not very warm and the chairs were hard and the green is not very inviting. It's very trendy though.

I got back to the bike shop and some of the bike shop boys were just returning from there, saying, "blah blah omg I love Peregrine so effing much blah blah" and one of them was talking about how he wants to be an investor, which made me roll my eyes while looking away, as I often do in response to this person, and he was mispronouncing "Peregrine" the whole time, which made me roll my eyes even more in response.

I will go back and try real coffee sometime, maybe Tuesday! In the meantime, I maintain that Pound Coffee is the best in the city.

New Things November: Saturday the 13th

Today I have a New Babby! Not for regulars but for tonight, anyway. She is amazingly adorable. She is the babby of some people with names. Names that you can Google and find things about. Babby is tiny and bubbly and has see-through eyelashes and loads of curly red hair, and is friends with Stellina! And anyone who is friends with Stellina is friends with me.

The Best Years of Our Lives is on TCM right now, which is exciting. Some people might know that it is one of my favorite movies! I wrote a couple of papers about it in sophomore year, but I haven't seen it since then. Myrna Loy is gorgeous.

OH, double new things for today! I found a store that sells ONLY CHEESE, and also I guess it sells other things that go well with cheese, so bread and olives and wine and stuff. I was only there for a few minutes but now I would like to back, because they sell ALL THE CHEESES.

New Things November: Friday the 12th

There I was, in the brand new bike lane at Lincoln Park, and there was the UPS truck, parked smack in the middle of my brand new bike lane at Lincoln Park. Curse curse, grumble grumble, gtfo of my lane, HOLY CRAP MY CONTACT.

So my contact fell out while I was riding my bike in traffic. Luckily I grabbed it right as it was falling out of my eye, and just held onto it as I made the next two blocks so I could pull over and try to manage the situation. I was two blocks from work, and had about 5 minutes to spare before I needed to be there so I was in no major rush but as I was attempting to stick my contact back in my eye, I was going through the plethora of terrible things that happen if I drop my contact on the ground. My mobile contact solution that I used to carry in my bag is now stationary, not to mention, if I drop my contact, there's no way in hell I can find it on the asphalt in the dusk with just one functional eye.

None of those terrible things happened! I got my contact back in my eye. WOO. High fives all around.

That whole shenanigan is a thing that has Never Happened To Me Before. I wish for it to Never Happen Again.

I feel like my New Things are kind of lame. I am pretty sure there will be one Really Awesome New Thing before the end of the month, seeing as how it is only the 12th and we are actually going all the way to the 8th of December?? So, that's good.

Heat and shower are both back in business. We got a new furnace and a new diverter. Yay!

New Things November: Thursday the 11th

Today the new things is some movies, I am in the middle of Elizabeth, which is pretty ok, and also I am watching Henry Poole is Here. It is interesting, I guess. I have never seen these movies! Luke Wilson is very Luke Wilson-esque. Both movies are really heavy on the religion! So there you go.

Some other things, as well. We have no heat, still. Tomorrow the guy comes to look at it to see if we need a new furnace, and then after that we will get a new furnace, because I will tell you that we need a new furnace.

I realized why my bartender looks so familiar, he looks just like Geoffrey Rush, but not the Geoffrey Rush in that picture, more like the Geoffrey Rush in Elizabeth.

I'm not sure how I feel about today.

New Things November: Wednesday the 10th

While Maeg and I have had many food times at many Cosis, today we went to the Cosi on Georgetown University's campus, which was a Place I Had Never Been! I had a TBM Melt which was a thing I had never had, because usually I stick with Turkey Bacon Cheddar Melt because it has delicious mustardy sauce.

Also then as I was leaving campus, I was headed for a 32 bus, but came across a D6 bus, which takes me much closer to my house, and doesn't travel down the quagmire that is Wisconsin Avenue! I was happy.

Our landlord gave us a new thermostat, which I could have told you was not the problem with our heater. Now we have a new thermostat, and no heat, and also our shower is broken because someone switched it from shower to bathtub, which we try not to do, because it has been getting harder and harder to switch back to shower. Now it is broken, and I did not shower yesterday, and Capital R is out of town until late late tonight so I have no shower and no heat. I may have to impose myself on Stellina's mom tomorrow while Stellina is at school so that I may shower. We will see.

I am cranky over it, and now I am going to bed.

New Things November: Tuesday the 9th

A couple of new things happened today!

New Thing Number One!: I went to Frager's for the first time. Yay! Frager's is an independent hardware store that has been on Capitol Hill for nineteen thousand years. It was a Place I Had Never Been, and it is pretty cool. I usually go to the Ace at City Vista, because it is right by the Sexy Safeway.

New Thing Number Two!: I fell off my bike in a new manner! Woo! I was at a stoplight and couldn't get out of my clip on my right side, but couldn't swing my balance to the left. There were lots of cars there when I fell! Nothing is wrong with bike that wasn't already wrong. ie: bearings are still square, not round; chain still needs to be lubed; handlebar tape is still nasty-looking; yellow housing on my rear derailleur cable is still FLY AS HELL; etc. I myself will have some interesting and awesome bruises, and be slightly sore for a bit.

there you go.

New Things November: Monday the 8th

Today my mother told me a story about how when she was pregnant with me, and I was due in a few weeks, she was all "oh, crap, the baby isn't moving. huh. Well, if she's gone, she's gone, there's nothing I can do about it. My appointment is on Friday anyway." And then it happened the next night and the next night.

Turned out I was just sleeping. And I was borned just fine a few weeks later. THANKS MOM.

That is a Thing That I Did Not Know!

Oh, also for November 7th, which was a Sunday, I watched Eddie Izzard's Circle, which was a Thing That I Had Never Done.

Dear Selle Italia

I finally sucked it up and bought my new saddle for my bike, which I didn't want to do because it's pink and while I like pink, I wish it wasn't so gendered. Then I had a short but good conversation with one of the guys at the shop, who gets a ton of crap from people because his bike has lots of pink bits, pink grips and wheels and chain and straps and stuff. I wanted to have more conversation about it but I didn't get to. It is silly, the association of the color pink with the ladyfolk. If I want to have the color pink, I should be able to have it, but so should the guy at the bike shop who wants his bike to be pink. If I don't want to have pink, I should not have to have it.

That said, my new seat is pretty great. (and look! those people are selling it at cost!)

The end.


Tomorrow I get to watch the new episode of the zombie show. Or maybe Tuesday morning we will watch it before work, so that I don't have to sleep after it. I have already been having weird dreams lately.

My cat is trying to hack into my bag of Costco mangoes that Stellina's mama bought for me! He is a jerk.

Cold house is cold.

Today I ...

Woke up with three cats on my bed

Ran out of hot water in the shower within ten minutes, and I am the only one in the house (wtf hot water heater!)

Determined that our heater is broken, just like our A/C was broken, thought about moving to San Diego

Decided to get back in bed, because the house is 57 degrees

Thought about cleaning my room a bit

Put my Google Calendar in a color scheme that I like

Thought about birthday presents

Talked to Maeg, and also my sister, and also Hannah

Watched the first 5 minutes of Billy Elliot, then determined that I don't understand them enough to watch the movie without closed-captioning, and so I will have to wait for the DVD in the mail

Thought about brushing my teeth

Still have three cats on/in my bed

Thought about biking the MBT for a bit

Decided to blog.

IT'S BEEN A GREAT DAY SO FAR. AND IT'S ONLY 3:30!!!

Things To Which I Am Morally Opposed, episode V

Fox News perpetuating a culture of Islamophobia

Lady bike parts being pink. What is this?! Just because I have lady bits sitting on my saddle instead of manly bits means my saddle has to have PINK on it?

Stovetop burners so gross that the pilot won't light.

My nice stainless steel cookware not being clean.

Ubiquitous credit card offers.

Being angry.

PEOPLE WHO LIE TO ME.

People who don't understand their own religion, let alone any real attempt to understand anyone else's religion or spiritual lifestyle.

Let me mention again how much I hate EVERYONE WHO PERPETUATES THE CULTURE OF ISLAMOPHOBIA.

Feminist Hulk say FUCK THAT NOISE.

Today is Thursday

and I am cold.

I understand it is the case that I have not blogged in a long time. It is now October. It gets cold at night and often during the day it is not all that warm.

One of our biggest squashes is moldy?? Not rotting, moldy on the surface. I discovered this with no time to deal with it today, so I will deal with it tomorrow.

I have been listening to wayyyy too much pop music, but I did get to see the New Pornographers again on Sunday!

I was pretty disappointed by 30 Rock's live show last week, but I found the west coast show much more entertaining. Kelsey Grammer is guest on tonight's show!

I have almost finished my November budget! My finances are in pretty decent order, as it turns out.

For how short my attention span is, I can't stand flipping channels.

I keep having dreams that I wake up and my hair is long again.

Now that it is cold, Rhett is cranky again, and Zoe is cuddly except she keeps trying to escape.

Nine days until the Rally to Restore Sanity!

These are things that I know.

Hello Little Sproutlets!

DC WASA came and fixed our water leak, and dug up the front yard. I got an email from a Roommate NorCal while I was in NYC last Friday about how the Squash Monster was okay. I came home that night and looked at the squash all dug up and hanging out on the dirt and wondered what Roommate NorCal had been smoking. Squash Monster pretty much not okay.

Then on Monday, DC WASA came back and brought us "topsoil" and so I skipped ballet class and all other previous obligations and attempted some hack gardening. I was too lazy to go get mosquito spray at Rite Aid (which is two blocks away, so maybe I was just too broke), and it was about 90 degrees, and remember that our lawn had been a pond and we have the lovely shelter of a ginormo Squash Monster. The next day I started to count my bites, got to 15, realized I was halfway down my first leg, and gave up. Anyway I dove into the plant and cut off the parts that were very clearly dead and rearranged the bits that looked like they might be okay still. I dug a hole and put the okra plant in the ground with a tomato cage around it, and took off all the dead leaves which was all of them, and harvested the 6 inch okra dudes, because no one in my house pays attention to stuff like that. Then I dug some weirdly placed trenches and poured in some flower seeds just to see what would happen.

Because we don't have a giant water leak any more, OR a spigot at the front of our house, I have now assumed the responsibility of massive watering duty. This means filling up a huuuge bucket at the spigot in the back of our house and then hauling it through the house to the front, where then I fill up the watering can and water twice a day.

Here is the status on plants at our house.

Squash Monster: ALIVE! Flowers blooming! I think I saw one fruit today that might still be growing, but I would be super surprised if we got any fruits. It's still nice to know that it is alive.

Okra: Almost certainly dead. I'm gonna give it until I go home next week to rehabilitate, and if it's not alive and doing things by then, that is okay. No one knows how to harvest okras on time anyway.

Flowers: sproutingggggg! I do not particularly care if we get real flowers or not, I just want to have plants in the yard because right now we have dirt and a sickly squash and a dead okra. I have sproutlets, and they are alive.

Soon my bike will have yellow housings for brake and derailleur cables, and it will look so fly. I have been going on and on about yellow housings for so long that the bike shop [personified] just got sick of me talking about it and ordered them. when that happens my bike will be looking fly like this but I have yellow water bottle cages (and a black saddle) so even fly-er than that one.

and I'm more Atari

I know this has been making its rounds on the internet, and I'm a bit late in furthering its journey. I have been totally addicted to this song for a week. It is ridiculously ridiculously good and more music must be made like it. but not too much 'cause then I'd get bored. NO NEVER.

Squashtopus

I am not very good at posting because my August got insane crazy, as my Augusts seem to trend!

Here is a funny thing.

Once upon a time in June, we thought our squash plant was going to die.


Now it is trying to eat the house. And the neighbors' house. and the dead tree, and the fence, and the everything ever.

Yes, that is one single plant. A SINGLE PLANT. ONE. JUST ONE SQUASH PLANT. it's gone all hydroponic on our asses.

I'm gonna debauch the hell out of this blog post

Last night:


I went to a barbecue at the house of a coworker of my roommates, where there was brick, and a fire escape, and pretty lights. We decided it didn't look like New York, but a movie about New York instead. It was delicious and fun and I smell like mesquite still, which is funny now but was probably really obnoxious at all the bars last night.

Oh, except I'm kind of sad because I just put clean sheets on my bed and now they smell like barbecue smoke. I can't be too upset at myself, though, because even if the thought to shower had crossed my mind when I got home last night, I wouldn't have been able to accomplish becoming clean, as I was far too focused on the cricket that I was absolutely convinced was under my bed. The cricket! It was there, I swear to David DeJesus.


I have had excellent times in Augusts in the past few years. This marks the second year in a row that Maeg has called me from a wedding the night before she moves back to DC and conveys all the ridiculousness that has happened so far at the nuptial party for one of her one hundred fifty three thousand three hundred and forty cousins. This year there was fountain swimming, none by Maeg unfortunately.

oh, wait, sorry, that's not how many cousins Maeg has, that's how much water we got billed for by DC WASA as a result of this little baby:



That's right, the spring, the source of life, the reason for our $1505.66 water bill and 153,340 gallons of water sitting in our front yard. For some perspective, China reported its giant oil spill as being 400,000 gallons. (Also, holy smack what is with all the oil spills. Sorry, Earth, I think we're beginning to get the picture...) (and, couldn't we have had one more dollar's worth of water in that 33 day billing cycle, so that our bill, which we received on Friday, August 13, was $1506.66?!? That would have been too much)

Yesterday one roommate and I were standing on the platform of the NY Ave metro station, watching some dudes bike past us on the MBT , and one guy yelled something to the effect of "Hey stop being such lazy asses! Get a bike!" which I thought was situationally hilarious and also infuriating. Someone came up with the idea that back before that idiot started to ride, someone yelled that at him once, and so now he thinks he's the shit and wanted to pay it forward to try and make himself look cool. How many combined hours in the past six weeks have I spent on my bike or at the bike shop or drinking with the guys who work at the bike shop? Hey entitled douchebag, I'm taking the fucking metro so that I won't bike drunk, because biking drunk is FUCKING STUPID.
And, let's talk about how biking is a policy of choice and not everyone can afford a $1500 Bianchi and the time to leisurely ride the MBT, because some of us have $1500 water bills to pay, and cooler plans than you for Saturday night.

Things For Which I Am Eternally Grateful, episode III

(this appears to have gotten lost in the drafts during my 6-week hiatus from blogging, so... I publish now, yes?)



Babies that say my name

Squash blossoms

Amanda Peet's character in Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip

When the bus tracker doesn't lie!!

A clean bedroom

Mrs. Meyer's Clean Day dryer sheets in Basil scent

New bike pedals! They are the SHIT. and I have these toe clips, which are also real rad. (As a side note, it appears that I am paying too much for bike parts. Though I'm getting discounts on stuff now and don't have to pay shipping.)

GUHHH MY BIKE MY BIKE I LOVE MY BIKE

The B-12 Shot

So, that math alarm clock. Let me just tell you how I couldn't multiply 9 and 7 at 7:45am, and as a result, I am now fully showered, breakfasted, dressed, and have started laundry and watched 15 minutes of a Studio 60 episode. Let me also tell you about how I have no commitments today, I have stuff to do but no time frame, so I am up at early o'clock on my day off! And all because 9 times 7 is not 56.

Here is a funny picture:


It is Rhett and Sawyer hunting a squirrel on the neighbor's porch, and Sawyer's ear is pressed against the screen because man she wants that squirrel so hard.

Here is another one that almost embodies our house perfectly:


Cats 'n' bikes. If there was a mango and a glass of whiskey on the windowsill, and if you could see the giant squash plant out front, you would have all the essential elements of our house in one picture.

A Man Among Boys

It's a great day. Not only did I wake up because of an awesome storm, I woke up with enough time to get coffee before work! which was great. Also, I got great news from one of my baby mamas. Stellina was in a great mood because she had slept for 13 hours. Also, our air conditioning is working again, which is great. And I just downloaded this great new app that makes you do math before the alarm will turn off, so it's supposed to be real great for awful awful wake-up times, which is every wake-up time ever.

I would go to the bike shop and order new pedals because I HATE the pedals I have now, they keep stabbing me and I keep almost dying trying to get them upright because they don't have tabs. I ran into a curb during such an attempt yesterday, fell, and skinned my ankle? that's possible? So now all the skin on a patch of my right ankle is gone and I have 7 (seven!) gashes on my calves, and yeah I look mega hardxcore but, really, I'd rather have better pedals, ones without stabby bits even though the stabby bits are good for when it is raining. But I don't have any money! So that is not a thing I will do today. Which is a great day!

This blog is about my injuries more than I would like it to be.

Thursday Morning Wake-Up

Fifteen minutes before my alarm was set to buzz and ring and generally suck, this is what woke me up:
Except that at 7:30, that delightful purple bit was ever so slightly to the west, meaning directly over my house. There were more lightnings with immediate thunder (so, the impression that lightning was RIGHT on top of us, and I think the science says that means the strikes were within a mile, and I did see one bolt hit a building at Gallaudet) than I had ever witnessed, the rain was pouring in the window through the screen and onto my laundry, and my cats were sitting by the window, watching the storm.
Though, I think that might have been because there was not only water pouring in the window but also somewhat cool air, and seeing as how our house's air conditioning broke yesterday, along with all the outlets in one of the bedrooms (??), I think they were just trying to get a little bit of relief.

Maximum Strength Cortizone and I are like *this*

Things I did not accomplish this weekend:
1. Cleaning my room
2. Laundry
3. Purchasing eggs at farmers market, they were out before 9:20am! Boooo

Things I did accomplish this weekend:
1. Showered Captain Bananio with kisses this afternoon when I ran into him and his daddy at the store
2. Harvested squash blossoms
3. Singlehandedly provided enough blood to increase the world's mosquito population threefold
4. Started watching Doctor Who!
5. Started a project
6. Cooked and consumed stuffed fried squash blossoms oh hey oh hey oh HEY.

It is Zannah's 8th birthday!!! She is sooooo big

This was my Friday:

This is my cat sleeping at night:

And this was my dinner this evening!:
and theennnn we sopped up all the extra browned butter with bread that was fresh from the oven. This house was a good choice.

In re: sharks

I sat in the front of the first metro car tonight while I was headed home, and watched out the front window, which is usually too reflective to see through. Going on the track between stations was like some perverse Disneyland ride - perverse because Disneyland has a higher safety record than WMATA. it did make me want to go on Indiana Jones 15 times in a row.

Happy Shark Week!

Speaking of shark, my new platform pedals that I switched to on my bike are made of shark. The stabby bits on them keep biting me and then I am awkwardly bleeding and people are constantly informing me that I am bleeding and asking if I am okay.

HEYOOOO CALIFORNIA
now, onto appeals, and all the way up to the Supreme Court, so we can get this ridiculous one man-one woman bullshit kicked out of the country. No mans! No womans! All people!

Step on it, Velma, step on it!

A very successful final Screen on the Green for 2010. I miss it already!

This lady photobombed my picture of the sunset through the trees by smiling and looking cute.


Bonnie and Clyde sure do get real dead at the end of that film. Real real dead.

Silver Jenny Dollar

I went to Annapolis today! It was kind of like this:


Maybe tomorrow I will upload the thrilling video I took of some boats and stuff.

On saving money, and the word "also"

I gained cred today in two major areas!

First I got in a bike accident, which really doesn't count, because traffic was pretty much stopped, and I only just clipped the door of the Comcast truck with my brake lever, but I did fall to the ground! And I do have a bruise from it! And the Comcast dude was freaked out!

And then I cursed everyone in Georgetown for sucking, because everyone in Georgetown sucks.

EXCEPT JAVIER AT THE MAC STORE.

Because he helped me learn how to install a hard drive! He was all "No no, don't do it here, it'll cost you so much, let me write down everything you need to know and then go to Best Buy and get the stuff." So, I bought Snow Leopard for $30, and then went to Best Buy in Tenley and bought a 320 gig hard drive for $60, and ALSO 2 gigs of RAM for $80. Because of math, I spent $170, but if I hadn't done the RAM it would have been $90, which is awesomer than the $250 at the store, which only would have been a 160 gig hard drive and no RAM upgrade! And then I went home and did it myself, with a quick pause for a trip to ACE to buy a tiny Torx screwdriver. I was kind of freaked out and my hands were shaking but I did it with all the tiny screws and everything. Then I just reformatted and installed Snow Leopard and then I took an old copy of Microsoft Office 2004 from BB's family, and now MY COMPUTER IS AWESOME.

The one thing I am sad about as a result of doing it myself is that I was looking forward to the Mac store cleaning my computer, which they always do no matter what problem they are fixing. Now I have a dirty but fast computer, for cheap! So I am not really sad.

Also while I was at the bike shop I ordered toe clips, and then while I was at Best Buy I bought Serenity, Fever Pitch, and Whip It, and then while I was at the hardware store I bought that torx screwdriver and shower cleaner, so I did end up spending a bunch of money today, but it wasn't all in the direction I thought I would spend it when I woke up this morning!

Oh also I did all these things while wearing my Old 97s shirt, so I HAVE SO MUCH CRED LOOK GUYS AT ALL OF IT

ALSO IT IS ALMOST SHARK WEEK

SHAAAARK WEEEEEEK

Sea to shining sea each year

The other day I went on one of the most frustrating journeys of my life (biking to Georgetown at any time on a weekday is never worth doing again) to find out that I need a new hard drive in my laptop. So, that is a thing I'm doing tomorrow, so that I can trade $250 for 160 gigs.

Next to me on the counter is a shopping list that says:

Keg

Grill

Eli. parts

Roofer

order cleats

Partially because I need to pay for things like emergency hard drives all the time, partially because I've been freaking out about student loans (what do you mean my balance has gone from $13k to $16k?!), I am taking lots of extra hours of work. I skipped ballet tonight for the baby named Dave Jr. (he looks like a tiny version of my friend Dave). Tomorrow I skip enjoying the pleasant evening for the baby who shall be known only as BB. This sometimes stands for "Baby Beibz," because with his current hair situation he kind of looks like Justin Bieber, but mostly it stands for "Blorfy Baby," because his favorite pasttime is blorfing ALL OVER ME. All the time. Dave Jr. is a pretty pleasant baby, he's 18 months and the worst thing he does is refuse to sit down in the bath. BB is adorable and all that, but he's 9 months, weighs 28 pounds, has the aforementioned blorfing problem, and is really fussy, which is only exacerbated by the fact that his mom works from home and naturally comes every time he screams for longer than 30 seconds. It is fine! It is just hard work. what?! I have to work for my moneys?!?

Nothing is new and I am dying for something new!

And this is what we wanted, a place to settle down

It turns out that the bar next to the bike shop has an excellent happy hour, and if you sit outside and drink a gin & tonic while waiting to meet a high school friend for dinner, one of the bike shop dudes might recognize you and tell you that you should come to the shop for a beer.

Speaking of bike,


There you can see also my rad polkadotted helmet, and my new 24 oz. insulated water bottle that was on sale, and also my shiny new stem that makes me feel like I am sitting upright when I ride, even though if you look at my bike, you will see that I am still nowhere near upright, especially because I ride in the drops most of the time (better brake control with my tiny hands, necessary for city riding... you can see the dirty spot where my hand goes, yuck). Also, there is Sawyer. She has her eyes closed but she is modeling her fabulousness all the same.

Also, I love Natalie.

Happy Tuesday?

Some interesting use of second person in this post today!

Matt Lauer was shaking his head

Sometimes I forget how great Girlyman is, and then I smack myself in the head for wasting time listening to other, lesser music.

I am a border collie when it comes to listening to music. I listen to one artist / band over and over until I get sick of them, and then I go to another artist, and listen to that over and over, etc. This happens with Neko Case, the New Pornographers, Girlyman, Rhett Miller, the Old 97s, Michael Jackson, Glee, Chuckanut Drive, and sometimes Dar Williams too. (Side note, you should listen to all of these things, except Glee, omg Gleeeee it's so bad) Right now I'm taking a break from the NPs to have this song infiltrate my brain, or rather to listen to that song repeatedly and wonder how Girlyman infiltrated my brain. Also, that whole album.

OH ALSO one of the other ones that I cycle through is Lady Gaga. of course.

Anyway the point is I am not very good at mixing things up.

Um so yeah, this is an example of me trying to get any work done at all at the Eastern Market Starbucks and FAILING MISERABLY. it's so cold here and there is just so much free internet and so many amusing bougie white girls to watch and did you know that a dirty chai frap tastes just like gingerbread??

there is a girl here in a pink and white striped boatneck 3/4 length sleeved shirt, and also snakeskin gladiator sandals, and also high-waisted shorts that are navy blue with tan diamonds on them, and her pink shirt is tucked into her shorts, which is a thing I don't understand. It is maybe one of the weirdest fashion choices I have ever seen. Power to her for wearing sleeves in 8109283 degrees Celsius. Amusing white girls.

It is too hot to get work done at home, and everywhere else is too air-conditioned.

A roommate and I went on a bike ride yesterday and it was like 15 miles (or, at least, over 10, and I am rounding up because it was so hot) and I got a new stem on my bike, and it is so great and I never want to get off my bike but my butt hurts from riding and also I need a little bit of a break from being drenched in sweat.

Today is Stellina's birthday! She is two now. Later I will write about our trip to the bike shop last week, which was super fun and great.

THIS HAS BEEN A SUPER INFORMATIVE AND INTERESTING POST THANKS FOR READING GUYS

West Virginia to the north

People who are my sister will now be attacked by this image for a third time (first email, second Bookface), but it is too amazing to not share a lot:


Today was rainy, so Stellina and I couldn't go outside really, we have been having crazy crazy thunderstorms, so she attacked my bag, and put on my extra shirt (NatsTown) and socks (argyle), and then my shoes and bike helmet, and went through my wallet and dragged around my Timbuk2 a bit and generally impersonated me. The shirt is a unisex medium, so, huge on me, extra ginormous on her. The bottom of it dragged on the ground and the sleeves covered her hands all the way before I rolled them up a bit.

She turns 2 on Sunday. Already if you ask her how old she is, she says "Do! Do!" which seems to be the only number she knows. I got her a couple of books, one called Baby Giggles (the kid is absolutely obsessed with babies), and then Maisy Goes to Preschool (Stellina will be starting preschool in the fall, and I will miss her but I don't want her to be scared), and also Elmo's ABC Book (if you thought she loved babies, she loves Elmo even more, and also she will need to learn the alphabet soon).

Another really important thing that happened today was that I bought my plane ticket to go home for a bit in September. Now I need to make a comprehensive list of all the things I want to do in Portland and Seattle! It will come up very very quickly I know, and I am so excited but also I will be sad to be gone from here for so long. I will miss my cats and my bike and my kids and my city. Mid-September is a great time of year in DC.

I am having a problem with my bike. When I get on it I do not want to get off. I don't care where I go, I just want to ride around and look at stuff and get totally lost and just spend time going fast or going slow and swerving to avoid potholes and stopping at stop signs and running red lights (of course when it is safe to do so) and getting angry when people drive or park or walk in the bike lane, which I learned some things about today. I guess my bike continues to be an extended metaphor for my current place in life, though I don't think that metaphor is the correct literary device, please help.

The day before yesterday my roommate and I converted his bike to a single-speed after his rear derailleur broke to unfixable proportions (that is not a fixie pun, his bike is not a fixie), and then we decided to ride to Screen on the Green, which was much more fun than I expected it to be. Both the ride and the movie. Halfway through the sky opened up and it started to flood, complete with lightning right on top of us. Roommate was terrified of the lightning so he dropped his keys and phone and wallet in the middle of the ground and then just kind of ran in a circle and then just stood there looking sad and confused. Then we decided we probably weren't going to die and so we danced in the sheets of rain until it stopped and we were soaked all the way.

And so, we rode home on the wet streets, which were nearly empty in the dark, and we went up a huge long hill at the Capitol, and roommate's bike doesn't have gears, and I can't change gears yet because I have to have two hands on the handlebars or I will die (my shifters are on my frame, not handlebars), so we sang Livin' On A Prayer at the top of our lungs to get to the top of the hill. The Hill, I guess. The view of the Capitol as we rode east on Constitution was breathtaking, or maybe it was just that I had just ridden up a crazy crazy hill without being able to downshift.

Then when we got home we got fried chicken and mac & cheese and ate it sitting in the middle of the kitchen floor.

A Ginger in a Red Sox Onesie

I read a lot of Kate Beaton's comics yesterday from her Twitter, (also you should read Hark A Vagrant if you do not already go and read every single one right now it is worth all the hours) (this one is one of my most favorites ever) so then I remembered that I had wanted to do hourly comics so today I am doing hourlies and maybe I'll do them tomorrow too because even though my life is boring, picking out one thing every hour to put down makes me feel kind of important, in a boring and insignificant kind of way.

Then I remembered that I am bad at drawing and so a lot of my comics today are made only of words. except the really profound drawing of me waking up in the morning with crazy morning hair and crazy angry morning eyes.

I went to get my bike at the shop today, Future Bike Shop Husband called me last night and said that the wrong stem came from the supplier place (sidenote: I hope FBSH was right about the stem business, I forgot to tell him that even though I am 5'6" all my length is in my torso. Longtorso is loooong) and I should pick my bike up and then come back later when it will be in for real. So then I did, and then I rode my bike up 8th Street from Barracks Row to my house, and I learned a thing. The thing that I learned is to not ride on 8th Street.

Today is Captain Bananio's birthday. He is two! Happy birthday little guy.

EDIT: Kate Beaton just yelled at the people for calling their comics boring and sucky. MY HOURLIES ARE SUPER INTERESTING AND AWESOME GUYS.

Pulled by my name

When it is time to catch up with old friends, the things that we talk about start with "what are you doing now," and right after that comes "what are you doing next." It is never "what are some of the things that you have been doing in the 3 weeks / 6 months / 17 months / 4 years since I talked to you last." It is also never "if you could do it all again, would you."

It is also never "do I still matter to you like I did when we were growing up together."

A Few Things That Are True.

Prince Phillip is now five. As we were coloring yesterday and I was listening to him ramble on and on about something that only a five-year-old would think of, I asked him if he'd ever heard of Axe Cop.

Prince Phillip: Axe Cop? Who is Axe Cop?
Me: You don't know Axe Cop?
PP: Nooooo who is Axe Cop?
Me: *recounts first episode of Axe Cop*
PP: But that's made up, right? Axe Cop's not real.
Me: I don't know, what do you think?
PP: Dinosaurs died a long time ago, Axe Cop couldn't fight them with any kind of weapon. They died in a big snow.
Me: But Axe Cop can fight anyone who is a bad guy.
PP: Only police can fight bad guys.
Me: Axe Cop is police. That's what "cop" means, it's another word for police. And police are good guys, right? They fight bad guys. And Axe Cop is the best at fighting bad guys, he fights them all the time and he never sleeps.
PP: Yeah. but Axe Cop isn't real.

I am guessing I will not be getting the plot for a guest Axe Cop strip out of this five-year-old.

this site just told me that DC is 95 degrees Celsius, or 203 degrees Fahrenheit. Also tells me that DC is like Yavin 4, which I am not sure I agree with, because it is not really that humid. It is totally 203 degrees though.

I don't update as often as I'd like anymore, partially due to the increasing amount of uninteresting things that happen to me. Every time I want to write an update, I can never think of anything really worth sharing.

I could write about fighting with Captain Bananio both yesterday and today about how even though he is almost two (!!!?! when did he get so big), he still needs to nap in the afternoon, and it is less than ideal to wait for a complete and utter meltdown at 5pm so that he can then fall asleep on my shoulder as soon as I pick up the boneless screaming blob from the floor.

I could write about begging Prince Phillip to watch Sleeping Beauty so that I could try to get CB to sleep, and reminding him that this time last year it was his favorite movie in the world. He was utterly uninterested and wanted to watch Diego Saves Christmas, but really he just wanted to cut up his Highlights Magazine with scissors. He also wanted to spell my name over and over on the Magnadoodle which we both thought was pretty great. He has learned a lot of stuff at school. SCHOOL!

I could write about the little girl that approached as I was clipping CB into his stroller today to go get PP at "camp" (it's really summer school, but shhh). She immediately asked, "What are you doing?"
To which I replied, "What are you doing?"
"No what are YOU doing?"
"Well, what are you doing?"
"Nooo, what are YOU doing?"
"I don't know, what does it look like I'm doing?"
"Clipping him into his stroller and putting his hat on." At this point her lady caretaker/mama caught up and said to me, "Wow, you know how to answer that question!"

Yes. I work with kids.

And holy mayonnaise, do they grow up quickly.

A post just for Maeg

I rode my bike today. I went to work and I went to the bike shop and I went home.

Also I did not die but I broke lots of traffic laws I am sure.

I would like Tommy Wells to work on fixing the roads, especially right around Lincoln Park. Thanks for our overhead wires, though, Tommy!

Any more than I needed her too?

It is time for partyz.


Someday my roommate will find out that I put a picture of him wearing an apron with no shirt on the internet, and he will make me take it down.

Until that day, please feast your eyes on this piece of wonder. By that I mean the goat ribs on the grill.

Leave it there for safekeeping

Certainly one of the greatest nights of my life.

(my new bride)

Themselves in Rockband / Guitar Hero? version. They made jokes about how AC Newman was only 85% of ... himself. On the song that he wrote.

(The New Pornographers at DC's 9:30 Club - June 23, 2010)

Things For Which I Am Eternally Grateful, episode II

Kisses from babies.

Free stuff at baseball games.

Popsicles in summer (not serial killers, though).

Beautiful women.

The flea market at approximately New York Ave, NE and Florida Ave, NE, and also the wholesalers around there.

Fresh mangoes. $7 a box!

My ticket to the New Pornographers show! which is 27 hours in the future from now!

Kisses from babies. Back me up on this one, they're just that fantastic.

Things To Which I Am Morally Opposed, episode IV

The neighbors having a disgusting pond of water in their front yard, which really is just a massive breeding ground for mosquitoes

Things that make my feminist brain hurt

People who care about Elena Kagan's sexuality, or anyone's for that matter

Busting a hole in my ballet slippers 7 minutes before the end of class, placing me in the inconvenient situation of having to dance on Thursday with a giant hole in my shoe before my new ones arrive in the mail

This, which I absolutely know I signed up for:

The Letter C

I finally figured out how to keep score at yesterday's Nats-White Sox game... Except not until halfway through the fifth inning, so there's a scorecard that doesn't make any sense for half the game. I moved around a bunch and decided Section 416 is where to be when I'm alone and want to keep score. At least 'til I move down to the 100s in the 7th inning.
Demonstration:


I feel like such a nerd going to the games alone, mostly because I laugh out loud at some songs that the organist plays. Yesterday I texted him and asked him to play Hey, Soul Sister (my favorite guilty pleasure song, as has been previously demonstrated), and he was all "Oh man I don't know if I can fit it in today, I'm trying to play songs that fit with Father's Day! but I'll try to squeeze it in" but then, there in the middle of the 8th inning, at double speed, were the tiny electric notes of Train! And then I laughed, and looked at the audio/visual box grinning, and everyone thought I was insane.

In other news, I have unmistakable tan lines on my feet from the sandals that I've been wearing every single day, which is pretty crazy, because I have never been tan in my life. I also still have tan lines from this time, in which I am wearing convertible tights from ballet class that stop mid-calf. I burned slightly from that mark down, though the rest of me was not burned, thankfully, because burns are bad. Instead of just going back to white like normal, it turned into tan, which now looks like a reverse sock tan on my legs. With sandal marks on my feet.

Here is a present for Solstice: the blog of my friend James! Read it, it's real real good, and also funny, and I'm not just saying that because it's my friend writing it. Especially read this page.

fireflies and cherry pies

I no longer have any sort of reasoning behind titles of blog posts.

Last night I ate a mango right before bed while watching Thursday's Daily Show, and now my computer has sticky yellow goo on it. Mmm mango goo.

Now, I am eating a mini cherry pie from Dangerously Delicious Pies, and on the hexagonal bar / coffee table next to me - don't worry, it's on a coaster - is a pint of chocolate milk from Clear Spring Creamery, which also provided me with the quarter pound of quark that is waiting in the fridge. My farmer's market is small but tasty!

Bad Decisions Dinosaur

That fried chicken sandwich after my first ballet class in 3 months may not have been really smart.

Looking at wedding photos while already in a weird alone-mood also may not have been that great an idea, either.

Letting Stellina walk to Eastern Market pushing her bebe strubber! bebe strubber! (baby doll in the toy stroller) in 85 degree weather - maybe should have thought twice about that one.

Choosing to work Saturday night - leaving me with no free nights this weekend! - instead of going to the Nats-White Sox game which will be broadcast nationally on Fox, I might end up wishing I had made a different choice.

Making another blog post that is yet another list, yeah, I really shouldn't have done that.

Awesome Shit that I Have Already Done in DC

1) Sunrise Easter service at Arlington Cemetery

2) Midnight Mass at the National Cathedral on Christmas

3) Easter mass at the National Cathedral

4) Various Smithsonians - Air & Space, American History, Natural History, American Indian, Castle, American Art

5) Inauguration of President Obama

6) Inaugural Concert!

7) Inaugural Ball! Western States reppppresent

8) White House tour

9) Nats games at both RFK and Nats Park

10) Pride Festival (though not the parade, boo)

11) Cherry Blossom Festival

12) Flown into and out of all three airports (lame, I know, but it's a thing)

13) Lunch at the Senate cafeteria

14) Experienced a summer thunderstorm on top of a house in Columbia Heights

15) Tended bar at a DCWeek event

16) had days where I go to all four quadrants

17) eaten at Ben's Chili Bowl

18) mini-golf at H Street Country Club

Ok! some are boring. but there are some things that I think are cool because they can only be done in this city. SUCK IT, OTHER, LESSER CITIES.

there's lots of other stuff I can't remember right now

It's List Wednesday!

I am bored, and don't want to work on things that I need to work on, so I decided to finally put down my DC Bucket List - stuff that I haven't done yet in DC and really need to do before I move away. I don't know when that is, but it is at minimum a year, so just to be safe, I want to start making sure I can take care of business and do everything.

So here is my list of shit that I haven't done yet in DC but want to do / places I haven't been but need to, in no particular order.

PLACES:

1) Roosevelt Island

2) National Arboretum

3) Hirschhorn Gallery

4) FDR Memorial

5) Air & Space Museum at Dulles

6) Frederick Douglass House

7) Pentagon Memorial

8) the museum in Katzen at AU

THINGS TO DO:

1) Sunrise at the Lincoln Memorial

2) Caps game

3) DC United game

4) Watch the drag race in Dupont

5) Screen on the Green

6) Roller derby (uh... watch, not participate, as much as I love Whip It)

7) train to Baltimore for the day (I know that's not DC, but, it starts at Union Station!)

8) a sport on the Mall! frisbee, bocce, softball, croquet, etc. doesn't matter which one.

9) go up the Washington Monument

10) Embassy open houses, EU and others

11) Paddle boats in the Tidal Basin (except this is so romantic I might barf)

What am I missing? It doesn't need to be all national shit, it can be like "hey you totally need to go to Sticky Rice on H Street, NE! and have omakase, and a carafe of sake. Then, go to the Biergarten Haus and drink whiskey while rooting for the Celtics, as your roommate shuns you in his ugly-ass Laker hat."

Well, I did that last night, so, think of something else.

OK well we also have a list of Awesome Shit that I Have Already Done in DC, which will be the next post, for ease of editing.

How 'bout them Uruguayans?